Tuesday, July 17, 2007
You want to cage and slowly kill me;
I want to fly and see the world; I want to live like a nomad
I want to watch the sun shining and blazing its rays into the Pacific Ocean
I want to watch the moon sinking slowly into the night sky as the day dawns
Without any roadmap, following the path led by my heart
I need to embark on this journey
I know I have to go search in the unknown
Unravel mysteries my soul has been searching for
Till I find answers to my queries,
I am sorry my love I can’t explain my actions and thoughts
All you can do is understand and let me be…
So, Let me be, Let me fly
I have to fly for my very existence
Or else my love, I will die, unsatisfied, disgusted and incomplete.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Life and its mysteries
Surround me like a myriad of stars spread in the moonlit sky
Like the juices of the waterfall from above
Sometimes sweet and savory
Like the gush of lava from a volcano
Filled with heat, wrath and fear of the unknown….
I,the little girl inside me, lost
In search of her soul…. her music ….
At the break of dawn, I wake up from my deep slumber
And get a whiff of the morning air,
The song of the cuckoo bird, the smell of fresh jasmine,
The fragrance of the wet earth and brewing coffee,
Linger around me as a new day unfolds.
I walk towards my window.
To behold the calm blue sky looking innocent and radiant
Leaving no trace of the thunderstorm it had brought just the night before
It reminds me of myself,
My playfulness when I am happy;
Waking up the baby inside me and giving me freedom and joy
My silence when I am pensive;
Taking me to unknown lands to experience mystery and bliss
My reclusion when I am angry,
Reminding me the existence of others around me
My outbursts when I am lost;
Just like the thunderstorm where I go berserk
Where my heart becomes heavy and silent tears flow like lava
Breaking the walls that I’ve so carefully built around me
Leaving me feel naked, staring in my eye
Asking me, Who am I ? Where am I? and Where do I belong?
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
How every step they touch the earth
They touch my heart.
Strong yet gentle, Forceful yet fiery
Like a fur when to comfort,
Like a sword when to kill,
Like a shield when to protect
Like the wind when to dance,
I gasp as I walk behind you;
Without ever taking my eyes off your feet
And then suddenly; I want to look back
To see the trail we left behind
To have a glimpse of my journey with you so far
I turn around; only to see your footprints,
Leaving no trace of mine, nowhere
I stop, I stare and wonder
I close my eyes and then I see
My footprints are there, totally lost in the beauty of your footprints Walking the earth, leaping over the mountains
Running through the forests, swimming through the oceans,
To be with you, to go with you
To be lost in you; for as long as I exist…….
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
I was brought up in a traditional home where all gods were given equal reverence. Every festivity is associated with a particular god. Over the years nothing has changed in my household. But somewhere, somehow I have changed. From day one of my life I had questions relating to GOD that no one could answer or put it this way nobody ever answered. Like, why is it that we have different gods for different ocassions, the reply mostly being - that's how its been for years. My doubt: How can goddess lakshmi only give us wealth and not knowledge - for which we have to depend on saraswati.....
As a child I used to be very fond of dance and music. The sound of music used to make me leap and start prancing wherever I was, letting go off myself completely. The stories where krishna would lure the gopikas with the music of his flute after their days work and come to brindavan and dance freely made me constantly jealous that I was not born in that genre to experience that esctasy. The story of the young krishna who took away the clothes from the gopikas and made them stand naked and unshamed in front of him opened up a whole new world of appreciating my feminity. the story of how the gopikas then felt one with the sky and earth, and wrapped in the totality of the universe in the protection of only their skin made me envious of them - the freedom they experienced, from the burdens of the world.... a sweet freedom as against the sham that we are entrapped in.
Music and dance cannot happen without love and pain, stories of Radha-Krishna equally captivated my heart. I have so much of love in me, love for everything I guess. Love that I almost cannot bear. And sometimes that love takes me through excruciating phases of happiness and pain. The love of meera for krishna constantly intrigued me. I always found comfort in associating my love stories to that of Radha and Meera. Neither of them lived with krishna but yet krisha had filled them with so much of him - the eternal bliss; that they needed nothing more than that.
How nice it would be if we could love somebody so much - without doubt, without thought, without any tangibility. I feel love is when you have truly given the most precious part of you to another human being - the heart. Because if you have truly given your heart to somebody then everything else is inconsequential. Beyond body, Beyond mind ...........
Many years have passed since I first enjoyed a story about krishna, I still look out for a story or a tale that I have not heard. I don't know whether I consider him as my god, but I know that I love him in a strange way... But for me he would be the perfect god. As godly and wordly as it can get. His stories makes me feel that he has lived in the world, lived through worldly emotions and altercation and somewhere it was as tough for him as it is for me......
Monday, December 4, 2006
As soon as I wake up in the morning the whiff of coffee dances around me beckoning me to wake up and grab that cup. It's just the calling of coffee that prompts me to get out of bed, freshen up, sip my coffee and vamoose into my own thoughts.
I go through an amplitude of emotions during my morning coffee sessions, sometimes I am in front of the T.V watching irrelevant programs. Sometimes my coffee takes me to the world that I have created for myself. A wonderland with lots of fairies, angels and a few supine devils who are nothing compared to real life devils. Then, sometimes I remember my childhood, I reminisce the few sweet memories I have as a child and I grunt while i remember the not so pleasant memories... and many more thoughts like these
It's really ironical that though the amount of happiness outweighs the amount of sadness that one has to go through in life, all of us feel the pinch of sadness more than the sweetness of happiness. The bitterness that the pain has left always ends up being more gruesome than the joy of the happiness that we have enjoyed most of the times.... Is it because we are selfish and greedy, or is it because we are weak or is it because some superior power whom we have created with the figment of our imagination has trapped us in our own minds by making us feel more vulnerable to pain and immune to happiness......................
Coffee and Me, a long rendezvouz, every every sip takes me to a new thought, new story, new dimension of life, new questions.............................and answers.....